


Let me down slowly

by Brkencxts



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alec Benjamin's song, Angst, Angst for days, Charlie is your kid, F/M, Peaky Blinders season 4, Song fic, With Luca Changretta, let me down slowly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brkencxts/pseuds/Brkencxts
Summary: Don't cut him down, throw him out, leave him here to waste.He once was a man with dignity and grace.Now he's slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace, so please, please.If you wanna go then he'll be so lonely.If you're leaving, baby, let him down slowly...
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Reader, Tommy Shelby/You
Kudos: 22





	Let me down slowly

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t know what to do with their kid so I just named him Charlie; I’m sorry if it upsets anybody ‘cause it’s originally Grace and Tommy’s kid.

Lately it had been rather cold in Arrow House. Even with the laughter of Charlie that filled the house every day. Sweet little Charlie that had no idea what kind of tension hung in the air the moment (Y/N) walked into the same room as Tommy.  
They still slept in the same bed, in the same room, even if (Y/N) knew that Tom had a room for her if she rather wanted to sleep alone. But (Y/N) couldn’t help it… she still loved him despite everything.

The room was cold, the fire died hours ago. Tommy laid there in bed, facing the window and looking through the curtains at the moon. His back turned to (Y/N) who silently sat up. Just in case Tommy was asleep… She got out of bed, her bare feet making soft noises against the wooden floor.  
Charlie was still sleeping, so Tommy knew she didn’t go out of bed to check up on him.  
 _Charlie. ___

__Their son.  
The reason why he married (Y/N) in the first place before he loved her first and foremost._ _

__It had been almost four years since their marriage and three since their son was born and everything had been going to shit. Changretta had doubled his efforts in trying to kill the Shelby’s and had gone as far as threatening his wife and child.  
Tommy had been distancing himself from them, mostly (Y/N). He didn’t want to worry her so he dug his grave in his work, almost literally getting lost in the papers and the razors._ _

__(Y/N) made her way to the kitchen first; there she grabbed a glass of water and drank it in silence. Her eyes were fixated on the trees moving outside. Their leaves rustling with the wind. Next she moved to the bathroom. Her water was downed and she felt lost…  
She had a suitcase ready.. Just in case. She needed to get away for a while, perhaps take Charlie with her… She just couldn’t do this anymore. Tommy had been pushing her away, locking her out of his mind and had become as good as a stranger with her.  
She had made her way to the bathroom, closed the door as quietly as possible and looked at herself in the mirror.  
Her eyes were red from the tears that were streaming down her cheeks – she hadn’t even noticed she had been crying._ _

__“(Y/N)..?” She heard Tommy say from the other side of the door, followed by three soft knocks.  
“I’m fine, Tommy, go back to bed.” She answered his knocking and it fell quiet between them. It almost felt like she had imagined him checking up on her. He was probably still asleep and her mind was desperate enough for his love and affection that she started to imagine such things happe-  
“(Y/N), please open up…”  
“Tom-”_ _

__Tommy knocked again and pushed the handle down.  
 _Dammit… _  
She had forgotten to lock it behind her.___ _

____“(Y/N)…”_ _ _ _

____Tommy approached her a little hesitantly. He felt his heart break when he saw her tear stained cheeks in the mirror combined with the bloodshot eyes.  
“I can’t do this anymore Thomas,” she whispered while she made eye contact with him through the mirror._ _ _ _

____\---_ _ _ _

____Tommy had gotten out of bed himself. The bed was cold and too empty without (Y/N) in it even if their backs were turned to one another.  
The floor was cold beneath his feet, so he noticed when he put them down as he threw his legs over the side of the bed.  
He sighed deeply and sat still. Simply listening to (Y/N)’s footsteps making their way back up the stairs and towards the bathroom. He heard her sniffling and her muffled sobs. He heard her whisper to herself and he was pretty sure she hadn’t even noticed herself._ _ _ _

____He was still her husband.  
 _He still loved her. _  
So he got out. He got out and shuffled towards their bathroom. The door was closed though not locked.  
He knocked and called out for her. She told him she was fine but her voice cracked at the end of her sentence.___ _ _ _

______So he stepped inside.  
The tiles were even colder and it made a shiver run up his spine. Blue eyes met brown ones and they both could see; they were broken. Both of them. They needed each other.  
“I can’t do this anymore Thomas,” He heard her whisper.  
“Do what, love?” He asked though deep down he knew…  
“I have to leave… Even if it’s just for a while..”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Tommy swallowed thickly. He wanted so badly to fight for her to stay. Without her, he’d go insane, he was sure of that.  
But the words wouldn’t come to mind. He couldn’t convince her with words while they were both in such a state. So he opened up his arms and, albeit a little hesitantly, (Y/N) turned around and fell into his arms.  
Her face buried in his neck as she embraced him tightly and he embraced her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don’t go,” he whispered while stroking her hair. His voice was a broken whisper just like hers.  
“I have to.”  
“No you don’t… Please, (Y/N)… I need you… I can’t do this alone…”  
“You _are _doing it alone, can’t you see?!”___ _ _ _ _ _

________(Y/N) pulled away slightly. Fresh tears welled in her eyes.  
“You’re pushing me away! You’re locking me out and lately you’re more a stranger than a husband!”  
Tommy sighed softly and cupped her cheeks as tears welled in his own eyes but he refused to let them fall; he was Thomas Shelby, he didn’t cry…  
“I’ll let you in, eh? I promise. Just don’t leave… If you do… Just don’t leave me alone… I can’t have that right now. But if you're leaving, baby.... Let me down slowly…”  
He kissed her and she didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.  
He would let her in. Clear out the shit that needed clearing out.  
They were far from mended, but at least the tension was gone from the room.  
At least they could start to get to know one another once more and learn to love once more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
